The Power of Purpose
After five years I’ve finally been offered a long-term treatment for my skin condition. If blood tests are all okay, I’ll be starting immunosuppressants. (For my chronic eczema or potential TSW (topical steroid withdrawal)). It first got me thinking about how powerful ‘hope’ is for healing. Then I realised, more powerful than hope, is purpose.
I was starting to lose hope that my skin would ever be under control. It’s much better than it was, and I can mentally cope better, but that doesn’t mean things are easy. It still makes every day things harder than they should be, and it’s exhausting and painful.
I knew that I tried all the available options:
Topical steroids
Allergy testing and patch testing
Oral steroids
Protopic
Phototherapy
Acupuncture
Dietitian
Immunosuppressants were the next step. The NHS dermatology waiting list where I live is about 2 years. It’s so easy to lose hope. Two years is a long time to be uncomfortable and the flares can seem never-ending. Luckily, I was offered a last minute cancellation. After 9.5 months on the list, I had an appointment.
I now have hope that this is temporary. That I’m getting support. That things will change soon. Just the hope itself has already improved my quality of life. However, it didn’t help me get out of bed in the morning after 2 hours broken sleep and feeling like one giant scab. What did that, was the power of purpose.
‘The Beauty of Eczema’ by Camille Knowles presents a set of principles. A framework to helping eczema (but can also be for general wellbeing). These are 'HOPE':
Home (our environment)
Optimism (mindset, journaling etc)
Purpose and Pampering (our meaning in life and self-care)
Eating, Exercise and Ecotherapy (food, movement and nature)
I never understood ‘purpose’ until now.
I liked my previous jobs, but I was a small piece in a much larger machine. Realistically, I could be easily replaced. When I went off sick, it wasn’t going to make a big difference. Or that’s how I felt at least.
Now, as a therapist, I get told that I’ve made someone’s day, or week. I love seeing people’s faces when they come to a realisation, or when they are telling me something they are proud of. Most of the time, I’m their only therapist. Their one chance to have an hour to themselves. To process, to reset, or whatever they need to do. It doesn’t feel like a pressure, but a privilege. A purpose.
That’s what’s getting me out of bed lately when my skin is so uncomfortable. When my eyes are swollen and it hurts to get dressed. Knowing I’m helping someone, helps me. Maybe this is what it is to have a purpose. It’s what is making me type this blog, even though I’m in bed, covered in greasy creams and holding ice packs to my face. It's something bigger than yourself, that can drive you through the hard times.